Causes of relationship failure are numerous.
After giving consultations and therapy to many persons, I noticed that broken relationships can be traced to the following factors and causes. I also did some research about relationships, and found out that statistics also support these causes.
Let us explore these observations, one by one.
People who didn’t receive love in their childhood, are very likely to fail in their relationships.
Love in early childhood, from parent to a child, is very important for that child.
The child will grow up and carry that love with him/her, and ultimately is able to love back.
Love back means that a grown up person, is able to give love to his/her partner, and also to his/her children, as a future parent.
A child without love from parents will grow up seeking love in a potential partner. The partner may not have that love for him/her, and subsequently, the relationship will fail.
2-A child lacking love from parents will grow up, and once become a parent, he/she is unable to give love to his/her children. He/she is very likely, not able to love his/her children. You cannot give what you don’t have.
3-We can save many relationships if we give enough love to our children.
4-A person lacking childhood-love will keep searching for love among different future partners. Usually not successful.
5- Broken relationships, attributed to lack of childhood-love, will cause many failed marriages. This cycle will continue and subsequently, create same persons with same results.
6-Many women are attracted to a man because his personality is same as their fathers. This aspect of “father-love” means the relationship is not purely physical. Relationships have their metaphysical, or spiritual aspect.
7-Many level-6 women are attracted to level- 3 men. Level-6 is quiet & peaceful type, the type of person who is likely to agree with you on most issues. Level-3-type is the macho type. Level-3 is the type of person who wants it his own way, not likely to compromise and is ego-centric. This difference in personality can be a major attraction factor among men and women.
8-In spite of their contradicting words, many women like macho men. This behavior means if the two partners, man & woman have the same independent personality, that relationship is likely to fail. It may last for years, and some would argue that the fact it lasted for years it meant it works. However, that relationship during those years is actually “looking” for an excuse to end it, and once it finds it, it actually ends it. This behavior explains why some partners or marriages fail after so many years. That relationship was not based on solid foundations in the first place.
9-Whenever the two partners, man and woman, are having equal significance level, that relationship is also destined to fail. This means that one partner “MUST” have more importance or significance, than the other partner. Some partners of equal independence level are happy, but that is the exception, not the norm.
10- Career and Relationships: Career and relationships have inverse relations, meaning the more successful you are at work, the less successful you will be at your relationship. I noticed this trend is more common among women than men. Again, some are successful in both, but that is the exception.
11- Age: I noticed that most women in a relationship/marriage change negatively against their partners, usually at the age of 40-45. At this age, the woman becomes more hostile to her partner. The result usually is a broken relationship.
12-People who are not successful in their relationships, try to succeed at work, and usually, they succeed at career.
13-Most women enjoy their freedom. Many women believe and want women’s liberation. However, in a relationship, the woman wants to be a follower rather than a leader. Women being followers in relationships are happier than other women. You may hear women tell you that this is not true, but “their relationship behavior” is quite different from those words.
14-Energy Balance: Very important to maintain the masculine and feminine energy to each gender. A very compromising man is good for the woman, as women say. However, deep in her unconscious mind, the woman starts to complain. A macho woman is accepted to some men. Educated men accept it quite well, but deep inside the unconscious mind, that behavior is not tolerated.
15-Lack of self–esteem: This is more common among men than women. Persons of low-self esteem, especially men, are very likely to fail in their relationships.
Those assumptions may seem to you quite controversial, especially if you are a woman.
I don’t expect you to agree with me on all of them. However, studies and statistics support these claims.
For the sake of truth, I strongly urge you to prove, empirically, that they are false.
On the other hand, if we agree on those causes, does that mean we are destined to fail in our relationships?
Do we know how to overcome the lack of childhood-love?
Personal development and self-growth fields have significantly developed and acquired many tools to deal with relationship problems.
There are tools for self-love.
There are techniques to overcome negative energy among partners.
Self-acceptance tools do change the personality for the better.
Under trance, light or deep trance, the person can get resources from his/her past and bring them to their present/future.
There will more articles and tips about how to improve your relationship.
In future articles, I will write more about solutions.