*This is part 7 of the series: Secret for a Better Life: Your Unconscious Mind
Conscious Mind = CM
Unconscious Mind = UM
Before programming the UM, firstly it needs to be congruent with the CM so as to be effective. We learned that incongruency will cause many personality problems and will make it hard for the person to seek and follow their goals. Incongruency is like 2 personalities but on a small scale. The personality has to be compatible with its values, beliefs and goals. The resultant behavior can be aligned with those only if the two sides of the mind, the CM & UM are in harmony and congruent with each other.
How to be Congruent?
Let us here explain very briefly the tools that allow us to be congruent inside:
1- Prioritizing Your Values: We know that part of the internal conflict is a result of contradictory values. The first step is to organize your values according to importance & priority. First write down 20 of your top values in life and mark them from 1 to 20 according to importance, meaning number 1 is the most important, number 2 is the second most important and so forth. The next step is to challenge yourself about the importance of each: ask yourself this: which is more important for me now: money of family? Once you get a clear answer, remark them, meaning renumber the list from number 1 to 20, asking yourself about each value. Try to spend more time in contemplating the importance of each value, until you are satisfied about final numbers. This process is very important and is worth extra time. After you complete the list, read it carefully and think about each value. From time to time, like once every month, review the values and notice if any is changing in importance. The values in life include: health, family, money, personal development, religion, pride, relationship, education, love, sex, independence, honesty, … etc.
2- Self-Acceptance: Inner struggle means the self is not accepted. Every person has their own self image. Negative experiences influence negatively the self image and thus create internal negative struggle. The result is usually low self esteem and self denial. Self acceptance is crucial for the emotional health of any person. Tools for self acceptance include: positive affirmations, hypnosis, support groups, changing personal history & Time Line therapy.
3- Social Acceptance: Engaging with the right supportive group is helpful for self acceptance and for uniformity of behavior. Avoid negative and hostile persons and instead join a supportive group. The options are: joining a club, any type of club: sports, cultural, special interest…. etc., joining a support group, a special interest group or any group where you can be accepted either for your membership or your activity. The important thing is that you really feel accepted by members of that club or group. Social acceptance can lead to self- acceptance.
4-Find a Mentor or a Coach: You need personal guidance on a periodic basis, like once a week. The emotional support and coaching tools provided by your coach are essential for your personal development, and you may not be able to use these tools on your own. A good coach can make a significant difference in your life. Don't take my word for it! Just search online and find out how successful consultants have changed the lives of many persons. Some top celebrities admitted in public that using the right coach changed their lives dramatically. The examples are too many to list here.
5- Parts Integration: This is one of the most effective personal-development tools for internal incogruency. It combines the personalities of your father and mother and then anchor the congruency at the end of the process. It is a delicate process but usually does not take more than 30 minutes to complete. It is better to use it under the supervision of a qualified coach. Make sure that end process results in your hands coming and uniting together; otherwise you will have to repeat it.
6- Hypnosis & Audio Downloads: There are many online downloads that deal with many issues. You need first to listen to affirmations downloads and then listen to self esteem and personality downloads. If you learn self-hypnosis, you can also under trance program yourself for more congruency.
7- Positive Experiences: Whenever you experience a positive event, the resultant positive feeling will have a useful effect on your personality. For example: when you travel and go on a nice trip and develop any positive experience such as meeting new people, making new friends, practising a new fun hobby, or even learning a new language or a skill. Any positive experience that can make you feel good about yourself is quite helpful for your self-acceptance, and ultimately for better congruency inside.
There are other tools and also other techniques. However, using the tools mentioned here, properly and regularly, will make a big impact on your inner congruency. You will notice the difference inside you and will be happily amazed by its positive change.
For more complete details, please see my next book : Secrets of Unconscious Mind.